It’s like getting socks. November 13, 2009

When you’re little Christmas morning is something you look forward to for months. Heck, I’m almost 30 years old and still haven’t stopped! You dream about those packages under the tree and try to imagine what will be inside them. It’s one of the most exciting days of the year! So, imagine when you wake up and run to the tree and every single present you open is socks. Not even pretty, fuzzy, cozy socks. Plain white ankle socks. That was today in a nutshell.

When I went to my midwife for my first prenatal appointment I had to fill out the standard mess of paperwork. One of those papers stated I needed to decide then whether or not I wanted a 3D ultrasound for an extra fee that would not be covered by insurance. This is our last baby. It was a very unplanned pregnancy so the bonding I felt right from the beginning with this baby has been minimal. Because of this there was never a doubt in my mind that we would do the 3D. I didn’t want to know the sex this time around so getting a small glimpse at his/her face has been on my mind for months. 

We went in the room and as soon as she put the wand on my belly the tech says, “The baby’s hands are up in front of the face so there are going to be a lot of black shadows. ” She showed us a foot once and a hand once. The rest of the time was spent hovering around trying to get some face shots. Everything was a big blurry mess. I don’t know if the quality of their machine is bad or if the tech was just bored with trying and didn’t really care what she gave us as long as she gave us something, but whatever the reason I feel completely cheated out of my time and money. I do remember thinking at one point that the baby resembles Noah and that it had chubby cheeks, but I watch the video back that the tech gave us and none of those clearer shots are even on there.  I don’t know what the hell she was recording, but most of the time you can’t even tell it’s a baby. Steve and I sat here tonight trying to make light of the situation a bit and managed to come up with about 10 other things the baby looked like, a pumpkin, a cat, and Michael Jackson, to name a few. It was like when you lay and watch clouds and make pictures out of them.

When we had our regular 20 week ultrasound this same tech did a great job explaining what everything was that we were looking at, but she gave us a couple of mediocre pictures. I went through the video and took still screen shots to get some great pics to show people. I was hoping to be able to do the same this time around, but there’s nothing. It’s a big blur of sepia tones.  I will be mentioning to my midwife at my next appointment (in TWO weeks. Holy crap I’m on bi-weekly appointments now!) that they need to show sample pictures of what to expect during this ultrasound because had I known how poor the quality would be there’s no way I would ever done it. I can think of a heck of a lot of other things to spend $100 on. I left there in tears and have been crying on and off all night. I keep staring at the pictures trying to feel something. Trying to see something. If you look closely at a few of them you can make out some blurry facial features, but after Googling 3D ultrasound images and staring in wonder at the pictures other woman got to see of their babies it just makes me even more upset.

Some of you are probably reading this thinking, “Well, that sucks but it doesn’t sound nearly as bad as she’s making it out to be.”  What else was going on in the room while getting this totally shitty ultrasound?

Alaina was hiding behind a chair crying because the baby was “scary” and “looked like a witch.”  She refused to look at the screen. She whimpered the entire time she wasn’t crying and was trying to pull herself up onto the table with me. A table, mind you, that barely I fit on by myself. She was too hot. She was too tired. She wanted to go play in the waiting room. Should I keep going?? I think the fact that this baby is real came crashing into her brain when that ultrasound machine came on and we’ve been dealing with the fall out all night. I’m trying to stay patient with her and I know I need to address these fears and concerns that she’s acting out, but I could barely keep myself from being weepy all night so I knew I would just get frustrated with her if I tried to get to the bottom of her fears tonight.

Addison was laying across two chairs pretending she was sleeping and loudly fake snoring. Then she had to go potty. Then she looked at the screen for about 30 seconds. Then she had to go potty. Followed by more fake snoring and sleeping.

Noah. Well, Noah was being Noah. Most of you have had the pleasure of meeting and spending at least 5 minutes with my little man. He’s an adorable pain in the ass.

Then Steve got a work related phone call halfway through letting him know that while he was gone a worker hit a gas line out on his project that completely shut down 33 in front of Concord Mall. So then I start worrying about how the hell I’m going to figure out how to get home. Elkhart and I do not get along when it comes to driving directions.

Oh, and the baby’s breech. And I had to get labs drawn. All around craptastic day.

41 weeks July 26, 2008

You get flash face today, because it’s much more pleasant than the actual expressions on my face right now. I’m 41 weeks 1 day today. The count down has started and if he’s not here by Tuesday I have to report to the hospital at 9:00 am for an induction. I’ve got a whole slew of emotions about having to do that and none of them are good. The only plus is that they will just break my water, not start pitocin so I shouldn’t have to be hooked up to all those damn monitors. Every time I think about having to be induced for the third time I start to cry and get upset so I’ve just stopped thinking about it and am trying to focus on the fact that he still has three more days to come on his own, but it’s not working so well.
Yesterday at my appointment I was 4 cm and she stripped my membranes. I had to do a non-stress test and Noah is fine, which I figured. The kid never stops moving. I also went for a second round of acupuncture. I had lots of contractions over the course of the day and night but once again I’m still pregnant today. I’m tired of these contractions. I’m tired of having them every.single.night. and waking up pregnant the next morning. I’m tired of losing my mucus plug only to have it regenerate itself so I can lose it again a few days later. I’m just tired of being tired and my good mood and positive attitude are fading fast. At my appointment Julia said she didn’t think I’d make it through the weekend, but I’m certainly not getting my hopes up because I’ve felt that way for the last 3 or four nights now. I don’t know why my body just won’t do what the hell it’s supposed to do and I hate that I now have a timetable for that to happen. I’m just sad and bummed right now which is making it hard to even be excited that he’ll be here by Tuesday.

Are you nesting? July 19, 2008

Everytime someone asks me this I just laugh. It’s a never ending thing these days. Most of you who read know me well enough to know that I detest cleaning. Hate it. With a passion. I will wait until no one has underwear to do laundry and until we are down to plastic forks to do dishes. Here are the random things I can remember from the last couple months.
~I’ve reupholstered 3 of the 6 dining room chairs (the others have to wait for this carpal tunnel to go away!)
~I’ve scrubbed just about every floor on my hands and knees.
~Laundry. Yes, you heard that correctly. Christina has been doing laundry. I told Steve not to get too used to it, but right now I’ve got a very limited number of clothes that actually keep this belly under cover!
~Dishes. I know, I can hear you all gasping. This one even surprised me.
~I’ve washed the fronts of all my kitchen cabinets and appliances.
~Rearranged the furniture in most of the rooms. However, Steve really likes how I’ve done the family room and front room this time so I didn’t get in too much trouble.
~Painted and repainted Noah’s room.
~Weeded all my flower beds.
~Scrubbed the kids playhouse and pool.
~Last Monday I got 10 meals in my freezer for after Noah comes. With both the girls we ended up eating out a lot, and I just felt like crap after eating all that junk.
~Today I’m washing windows, dusting, cleaning the floors again, and doing laundry. Oh, and it’s too damn rainy to go to the store so I’m finally taking a stab at homemade cleaners. So far so good! I’ve made a floor cleaner and window cleaner. Let’s just hope my Flip It likes the floor cleaner as much as I do b/c it would suck if that thing broke!
~Oh, and I have to repack my hospital bags today. I’ve been using stuff out of the kids bag randomly since I stuck them in the car and my bag just needs so tweaking since I’ll be at the hospital instead of birth center.

Yeah, I suppose you could say I’m nesting.

Oh, and I’m bored again, but have been banned by Steve from rearranging furniture again so once the kids eat and are watching their movie I have a box of hair dye calling my name in the bathroom upstairs! Yeah! Furniture and Hair. Why couldn’t I have some other obsession?

Steve is convinced I’m having the baby today. He has said the 19th for weeks now, and since he’s a typical man he’s of course convinced there’s no way he will be wrong. He’s never wrong. *rolls eyes*

I’ve never been this pregnant before! July 18, 2008

40 weeks! Had an appointment this morning. The nurse walked in the room, looked at my chart and said, “OH, it’s your day today!” I laughed and said, “Ha! I wish!” She said, “Well it’s your due date.” to which I responded, “Yeah, if only someone would have let the baby know that!” I’m 2cm dilated, 50% effaced, and he’s still way up at a -3 station. Beth asked if I had any signs that labor may be near. I told her I have no idea! LOL Having never actually gone into labor on my own I have no clue. I’ve been really nauseous and have lost two pounds this week. I feel like I’m back in the beginning stages of morning sickness. It’s the worst at night, so I’m keeping this short so I can head to bed. I just got the girls in bed and Steve is off seeing the new Batman movie so I can actually get to bed early tonight. Oh, yeah, that’s another thing that’s bothering me. I cannot sleep. It sucks. I wake up randomly each night and just can’t go back to sleep. Last night I was up from about 2:30-4:30. I keep having these very vivid dreams about labor and the baby and they keep me from sleeping. Did you know that Phoebe, from Friends, is a midwife and that Noah is going to come out the size of a 4 month old? Oh, and I’m also going to give birth in my sleep and wake up and find him laying in bed with me. If only. These are just a few random examples of the fun dreams I’ve had. Although, sometimes my waking up is due to the fact that I haven’t really eaten during the day and I have to have my standard bagel with butter and cinnamon sugar to get back to bed.

Aside from that I’m actually feeling really good! I never thought I’d be saying that while on the verge of being overdue. I think it’s awfully cruel to give a woman a specific date. You should get a “due month” instead, because technically you aren’t “over due” until 42 weeks. I’m just trying to enjoy what little sleep I am getting because I know that number is going to dwindle very quickly once Noah’s here. They are much easier to take care of when they are in the belly, not out.

Oh, one more thing I wanted to write about (this is not nearly as short as I expected!)-Yesterday I was getting the girls settled in for a movie in the afternoon and the phone rang. It was my osteopathic doctor, Angela. She said that she had thought about me when she heard about the Birth Center and just wanted to call to see if I was ok and tell how great her experiences at Goshen Hospital had been. She told me a little about her first birth with the midwives and reassured me that they will still make sure I get the birth I want even at the hospital. I am seriously amazed at how much my doctors/midwives actually care about me. They don’t have to look at my chart to remember my name. They don’t tell me the same information over and over again b/c they can’t remember if they have told me already. They know my baby’s name and refer to him as Noah in conversation. They know how much my girls love helping out and so they help lift them up and down off chairs to be their assistants. They know my biggest fears about birth and are doing everything they can to make me not afraid. When I have appointments with them I truly feel like I am their only patient. I was seriously a big ball of emotions when I got off the phone with her. Never before have I had a medical professional take time out of their schedule to just call and chat to see how I’m feeling. I’ve just been speechless at how I am treated and told Steve that if we ever move I would love to move closer to the Goshen area b/c everyone I’ve ever dealt with had just been fantastic.
That’s all for tonight. I’m heading up before it gets dark enough for me to see this full moon that is supposedly going to put me into labor

Better late than never July 17, 2008

I wasn’t in the blogging mood last week, so here is my 39 week picture, a week late Tomorrow is my due date, and Noah is still hanging in there. I had contractions all day yesterday, but after a lovely pedicure

and ice cream with my friends they went away and I’m still here today! I’ll update after my appointment tomorrow morning.

p.s. I don’t think I’ll ever paint my own toenails again, even when I can reach them Thanks for my birthday present Tracy!

37 weeks June 30, 2008

Nothing too exciting to blog about! I am done with my classes at the birth center, and as long as he holds off until Friday we are good! I can’t believe I have less than 3 weeks left (hopefully!). I have his bag all packed and ready. I still need to pack mine, but yesterday I did get some of the stuff I still needed to buy. Oh, I also dragged Steve stroller shopping yesterday! LOL I really wanted the Chicco Keyfit 30 travel system, but with not babysitting anymore money is pretty tight. Luckily my Graco carseat from Addison didn’t sell in the garage sale, so I’m stuck using that. I think we are going to go ahead and get the Joovy Sit and Stand. With the carseat on it both girls can still hitch a ride if they want so they thought that was really cool. We’ll see. There are other things we need first, but at least now we have an idea so I can just send Steve out to buy something when we need it instead of all of us going to Babies R Us. That was FUN! Not. So, here’s 37 weeks. I made Steve take the picture this time b/c I’m tired of taking pictures of myself in the mirror

Maternity Pictures June 25, 2008

I have a friend who owns her own photography business and as soon as I got pregnant this time around I knew that I wanted to get pictures done by her. She is amazing and I was so excited to see how they would turn out! You can check out all the pics here:

Traditions Photography
Some are already edited and some are not.

In the top right corner click on “online proofing”
Then click on my name, Christina Menis
Then click on “View Portraits Here”
Then “Portraits”

The link “Other Portraits” are the ones where the girls had silly smiles or that I just didn’t like as much. I am so excited about how they turned out!! The day we went to get them done the kids weren’t very cooperative and I left their frazzled and ready to strangle them, but looking at the pics you’d never know. So, for anyone in the South Bend area, Eileen is awesome and if she can get good shots of my kids on a crazy day, she gets two thumbs up from me! Before this it had been two years since I had any professional pics done b/c it is just way too stressful. I am so excited for Noah to get here now so I can take him in and have her work her magic again. Thanks for looking!

36 weeks June 20, 2008

Today’s been a weird day. I had my 36 week appointment this morning and while I was in the bathtub I noticed my belly looked a lot smaller than just yesterday. I didn’t think anything of it, but then as I was getting ready I was able to wear a shirt that hasn’t fit over my belly for probably 2 months now. I was also noticing I hadn’t really felt him move at all for a good two hours, which is very usual. Of course I got a little worried and panicky and called Steve to see if he could maybe come with me to my appointment. Of course he couldn’t leave work so I finished getting the kids ready and made sure I got there a little early b/c usually if I get their early I get seen early too. After we talked about the girls sibling class for a little bit she measured me and I’m still measuring right on at 36 cm. I told her about how I had only felt him move about 3 times in the last 3 hours and so she listened to his heart rate for quite awhile and used her hands to move him around. She was looking for accelerations when she would move him and he did what he was supposed to She then went on to tell me where everything was at in terms of his body parts. Well, since last week he has moved from laying face up completely on my right side to laying on his right side with his butt up by my left rib and his spine/back along the left side of my body. I’m thinking that at some point when I was sleeping he flipped over like this b/c I know just yesterday he was still mostly on my right side. His head was also lower than where it usually is so I’m thinking that these changes in position have just altered how much my belly sticks out and how much I’m feeling him move. I feel a lot better but still a little freaked out that there was such a drastic change just over night. I have to do a one hour kick count every day after a meal from now on. Here’s my 36 week pic, you can see a little bit of difference in this one compared to my 35 week pic.

35 weeks June 18, 2008

I keep getting comments about how “small” I am for only having a month left. Apparently the people saying this haven’t see any of these pics! I feel huge. Not much new with my pregnancy, although my best friend had her baby yesterday and she was due 3 weeks before me so I got a little nauseous thinking that I’m next! LOL He has strict instructions that he’s not allowed to come before July 4th though, so let’s hope he listens. Oh, and I’m getting that damn pregnancy nose. I swear it’s doubled in size. Ugh.

33 weeks June 3, 2008

Here’s the 33 week belly.

When I was pregnant with the girls around 33 weeks is when I was miserable and ready to be done. It’s no exception this time! I don’t know if it’s the fact that the weather is warming up or if it’s just that my pelvic pain is so much worse this time around, but man the next 7 weeks can’t go by fast enough.