You get flash face today, because it’s much more pleasant than the actual expressions on my face right now. I’m 41 weeks 1 day today. The count down has started and if he’s not here by Tuesday I have to report to the hospital at 9:00 am for an induction. I’ve got a whole slew of emotions about having to do that and none of them are good. The only plus is that they will just break my water, not start pitocin so I shouldn’t have to be hooked up to all those damn monitors. Every time I think about having to be induced for the third time I start to cry and get upset so I’ve just stopped thinking about it and am trying to focus on the fact that he still has three more days to come on his own, but it’s not working so well.
Yesterday at my appointment I was 4 cm and she stripped my membranes. I had to do a non-stress test and Noah is fine, which I figured. The kid never stops moving. I also went for a second round of acupuncture. I had lots of contractions over the course of the day and night but once again I’m still pregnant today. I’m tired of these contractions. I’m tired of having them every.single.night. and waking up pregnant the next morning. I’m tired of losing my mucus plug only to have it regenerate itself so I can lose it again a few days later. I’m just tired of being tired and my good mood and positive attitude are fading fast. At my appointment Julia said she didn’t think I’d make it through the weekend, but I’m certainly not getting my hopes up because I’ve felt that way for the last 3 or four nights now. I don’t know why my body just won’t do what the hell it’s supposed to do and I hate that I now have a timetable for that to happen. I’m just sad and bummed right now which is making it hard to even be excited that he’ll be here by Tuesday.