41 weeks

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You get flash face today, because it’s much more pleasant than the actual expressions on my face right now. I’m 41 weeks 1 day today. The count down has started and if he’s not here by Tuesday I have to report to the hospital at 9:00 am for an induction. I’ve got a whole slew of emotions about having to do that and none of them are good. The only plus is that they will just break my water, not start pitocin so I shouldn’t have to be hooked up to all those damn monitors. Every time I think about having to be induced for the third time I start to cry and get upset so I’ve just stopped thinking about it and am trying to focus on the fact that he still has three more days to come on his own, but it’s not working so well.
Yesterday at my appointment I was 4 cm and she stripped my membranes. I had to do a non-stress test and Noah is fine, which I figured. The kid never stops moving. I also went for a second round of acupuncture. I had lots of contractions over the course of the day and night but once again I’m still pregnant today. I’m tired of these contractions. I’m tired of having them every.single.night. and waking up pregnant the next morning. I’m tired of losing my mucus plug only to have it regenerate itself so I can lose it again a few days later. I’m just tired of being tired and my good mood and positive attitude are fading fast. At my appointment Julia said she didn’t think I’d make it through the weekend, but I’m certainly not getting my hopes up because I’ve felt that way for the last 3 or four nights now. I don’t know why my body just won’t do what the hell it’s supposed to do and I hate that I now have a timetable for that to happen. I’m just sad and bummed right now which is making it hard to even be excited that he’ll be here by Tuesday.

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13 responses »

  1. I’m sorry, Xtina. I know how you feel about being frustrated with your body. Mine doesn’t know what to do, either. My fingers are all crossed that Noah will see the light this weekend. Sending lots of hugs up to Indiana!

  2. Keep your chin up, babe! I hope he comes on his own! I’ll say a prayer he decides to come tomorrow! I’m sending you a big virtual hug and hoping you don’t have to be induced!!

  3. I so hope he comes soon, Christina. And, with Olivia, I went in at 4cm and they broke my water – no pitocin needed. So, hopefully if you make it to that point, breaking your water will do the trick. I’m sending you a huge hug and lots and lots of go into labor vibes.

  4. Oh hon, it’s got to be so hard right now. I’m going to send some labor vibes your way. ((hugs)) Your little Leo is on his way!

  5. Im sorry its not kicking in. I was 2 weeks over due with Meilani and it sucks to be soo pregnant. I will send all the positive vibes I can. I bet he will be here before Tuesday!((hugs))

  6. Ok, you need to put a smile on your face and try not to let yourself get so down about this. Sometimes it just doesn’t work out the way we plan when it comes to babies and labor. I was induced all three times, yeah it sucked but you know what, in the end I still had three beautiful children to show for it. I mean really… who would have thought that I’d have to be induced with Chloe after 12 weeks of bedrest to stop labor? Hang in there sweetie, he’ll be here before you know it and it won’t matter how he got here. I love you!

  7. I know you’ve been hearing this from me already, but I’ll tell you again. Your body IS doing what it’s supposed to be doing. Something IS happening. You just aren’t letting yourself realize it because you didn’t experience this with Laina and Addi.

    Within a week you’ve gone from 2 to 4 cm. Hello!
    You’re 50% effaced. Hello!
    You are having contractions, you feel like crap and you’ve lost your plug. Hello!

    You are moving in the right direction. Without.medical.intervention. Just the way you wanted it this time. Your body isn’t in a rush because it’s happening the way it’s supposed to for you.

    I know it’s driving you crazy. And you know I love you.
    And I know darn well that if you called the midwives right know and said you wanted to come in and get things going they would honor your wishes. And you’d be pissed at yourself afterwards.

    Am I right?

    So do some yoga, take a nice shower, lay down, and think happy thoughts.
    Or, if you’d prefer, try to think about what I have packed in my Mary Poppins bag for you. At least it’ll get you to laugh.

  8. I’m sorry you’re feeling so yucky. Listen to Antonette….she is so very wise! Just try to relax and let your body continue doing it’s work. It’s got to be frustrating, I’m sure, that things aren’t going as fast as you’d like but hang in there! Noah’s doing fine and once he’s here, you’ll forget this stuff and revel in that little miracle he is!

    If nothing else, I’ll bring ya some chips & salsa from Don Pablo’s!!

    Love you & I’ll be sending labor vibes your way!

  9. Oh hon… I’m hearin’ ya… and like AM says…I’m “amening”; Antonette… we’ll get that baby here soon honey… and you are doing fabulous!! We’re all here for ya!!

  10. Christina-hang in there! I agree with Antonette and AnneMarie…he’s on his way, unfortunately he’s on his schedule and not yours…perhaps this is just preparation for newborn life–when again every day will be on his schedule! Lots of good labor waves sent your way from Ohio! Can’t wait to see his pictures! Beth

  11. I’m sorry that things aren’t going as you want them to, at least for now. Who knows, he may have Tuesday on his mind anyway and could come on his own then! As much as those contractions suck, they really are doing something and will probably make your delivery so much easier.

    Seems like the first day after you’re overdue, you start to feel mentally deflated and your body is just DONE. Emma was 2 weeks overdue, and her first induction didn’t work at all. So I was hooked up at the hospital for 14 hours, then got sent home without a baby and had to wait two more days to try it again. Her delivery ended up being an absolute dream come true, it was so beautiful.

    No matter what happens, you just have to be accepting of it. You know what Reid’s c/s did to me mentally, and had I just accepted it as the story of how he was born, I could have saved myself so much torment. Please don’t do that to yourself, and miss out of the most important part of all this, that precious new baby, your first son!

    I absolutely wish for all this to go exactly as you want it to, but that always can’t happen. Had I kept my eye on the prize instead of how I got there, I sure would have saved myself & my family so much pain. Don’t let the story that plays out in your mind be the only one that can make you happy. I’ve come to realize that both of my kids’ births were equally wonderful and special and appreciate them both for what they were.

    I hope this didn’t sound preachy, but I’ve been there and couldn’t have dealt with it in a worse way, and would just hate that for you. Love you, and can’t wait to hear the story of Noah’s birth! ❤

  12. Wait it out! I did…i went 2 wks over. i had all the pressure of induction you are facing now. I refused and had a glass of wine and contracted for 3 days and finally he was born….Muscles have memory, your body is waiting fo the piction that it use. Your body will know what to do…trust it…relax…shut off negativity out, turn off the phone, what ever it takes…the negativity hinders things…BELIEVE me…dont give up on your dream delivery…{{{BIG HUGS}}}

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