10 things I learned on my first day alone with 5 children.


1. Do not trust a two year old who asks to sit on the potty. She will sneak away and poop on your floor.

2. Do not attempt to stretch out a Chessa feeding any longer than two hours even if it means holding your pee til your eyeballs are floating. At exactly 121 minutes she turns into a banshee.

3. Everytime Chessa cries Maggie will cry. Gonna take awhile to get used to that one.

4. Chick fil a has a gluten and dairy free kids meal now. I ate two. Shhhhhh.

5. Waking up at 5:30 am means you are ready for bed at 4:30 pm. Your kids will not be down with that idea. Maybe I should have set the clocks ahead a couple hours?

6. Telling your usually responsible 7 year old, “Sure, go ahead and make yourself a snack.” will end in shredded vegan cheese all over the living room the one time you try to sneak a 20 minute nap.Which wouldn’t upset me nearly as much if I didn’t have to pay as much for a bag of cheese as I do a pack of diapers.

7. If it weren’t for Antonette I’d probably have lost way more than the 20lbs I already have since birth. Thank God she feeds me. Oh, and she buys diapers too. You know, for the toddler up there ^ who pooped on my floor.

8. Your first day alone with 5 kids is not the time to let your three year old son wear a Super Man cape all.day.long. He will think he actually IS Superman and act accordingly.

9. Even if you haven’t needed breast pads your entire week post partum leaving the house to take the baby to visit a classroom of 8 year olds will be the ONE time you do need them. Thank God for the awesome sweatshirt Tracy bought me and for the mental clarity to stop before walking out the door and grab it.

10. As crazy as this day was, it was my crazy and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.


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